Understanding Emotional Manipulation: 7 Phrases Used to Control Others

Certain individuals possess a unique talent for disguising their true intentions, often concealing their ulterior motives behind a façade. These are the masters of emotional manipulation, skilled at bending others to their will for personal gain. The unsettling truth is that we might not even realize we're being manipulated until it's too late.

Nonetheless, there are certain warning signs to watch out for. According to Mary Beth Somich, a licensed professional counseling associate, emotional manipulators are often individuals plagued by deep insecurities, seeking to undermine our emotional well-being.

Emotional manipulators employ specific tactics to ensnare their targets even before revealing their true motives. They often resort to flattery, as noted by Dr. Cali Estes, a psychologist and cognitive behavioral therapist. This charming and affectionate façade creates the illusion of encountering the perfect person.

However, as time goes on, their true nature becomes evident. Masters of emotional manipulation employ common lines to control others, and here are seven such phrases:

    “If You Do This For Me, I’ll Know You Really Care”

        This manipulative line exploits the target's desire to display affection and devotion. It generates a sense of guilt and obligation if the target refuses the manipulator's request, coercing them into compliance. Ultimately, it undermines the target's control in the relationship and exploits their caring nature.

    “Are You Sure You Want To Do That?”

        This seemingly innocent question is used to implant doubt in the target's mind, eroding their self-confidence. By instilling hesitation, the manipulator gains influence over decisions and choices, ultimately enhancing their control over the individual's life.

    “You’re Just Being Irrational”

        In response to differing opinions, the manipulator dismisses the target's feelings as irrational, weakening their self-assurance. This tactic invalidates the target's emotions, leading them to doubt themselves and rely more on the manipulator's perspective, creating a power imbalance.

    “I Never Said/Did That”

        This tactic involves denying or gaslighting the target's memories or experiences, causing confusion and self-doubt. By altering the narrative, the manipulator evades responsibility for their behavior, deepening their control over the target.

    “I Thought You Of All People Would Understand”

        This statement guilt-trips the target, leveraging their trust and empathy to gain compliance. The manipulator exploits the perceived special bond to manipulate the target's emotions, fostering dependency.

    “This Always Happens To Me”

        By portraying themselves as victims, manipulators evoke sympathy and guilt in the target. This line creates an imbalanced dynamic where the manipulator relies on support while offering little in return.

    “I Told You My Secrets, It’s Only Fair To Tell Me Yours”

        This phrase aims to elicit personal information from the target by manipulating their desire to be trustworthy. The manipulator then uses this information to their advantage, deepening their control over the target.

Recognizing manipulation requires vigilance, but here are some tips:

    Observe Patterns: Watch for consistent manipulation tactics.

    Trust Instincts: Pay attention to discomfort.

    Set Boundaries: Establish and maintain clear boundaries.

    Seek Support: Discuss concerns with others.

    Maintain Independence: Retain personal interests.

    Validate Feelings: Acknowledge your emotions.

    Choose Safety: Prioritize your well-being.

    Educate Yourself: Learn about manipulation to counteract it effectively.